Practicing self-compassion means treating yourself as an important person in your own life. In difficult times, consider how you would support a friend in the same situation—and then offer yourself the same kindness.

1. Spot self-critical thoughts

Reflect on moments you were hard on yourself and ask: Did I use harsh labels, imagine worst-case scenarios, rely on “should” or “must” statements, or notice stress in my body? Recognizing these signs helps you spot self-criticism more easily and gently shift toward kindness.

2. Make peace with your inner critic

Try befriending it: see your inner critic as a messenger, approach it with curiosity, and reflect on what it is really trying to tell you. By understanding its purpose, you can thank it for the reminder and then shift your focus to problem-solving with more self-compassion.

3. See thoughts as facts, not judgments

Reframe your inner critic’s harsh comments into factual, nonjudgmental statements. Instead of “I’m so nosy,” you might say, “I asked one question about my boss’s marriage that I now wish I hadn’t.” Stripping away judgmental labels helps you see situations more clearly, reflect on your behavior without harsh self-criticism, and think constructively about how to move forward.

4. Practice comforting touch

Since the body and brain affect each other, changing your posture or offering yourself gentle touch—like placing a hand on your heart, hugging yourself, or using a soft blanket—can calm self-critical thoughts, ease anxiety, and foster self-compassion.

5. Connect with your younger self

Try directing kindness to a younger version of yourself. By speaking to younger-you with care—focusing on the emotions you feel rather than the situation—you step away from harsh self-criticism and begin to build a gentler, more compassionate perspective toward your present self.

6. Define your core values

Self-compassion works best when it supports your real needs, which requires knowing your core values. When your choices do not align with those values, self-criticism and suffering often follow—like overcommitting, neglecting self-care, and ending up burned out.